Emergencies

I found out last night that I will never be of any use during an extreme situation. I was 17 questions into my exam and my laptop arbitrarily shut down. Yep. All of a sudden the screen came up and said "Windows is shutting down...". What did I do? I hollered "No! No, no, no, no, no!" and proceeded to start bawling like a little baby. I let it shut down, knowing full well that the little timer on my test was most likely ticking still and that the odds were very high that I'd already lost the answers to those 17 questions, including the two that were essays. While the computer was restarting, I was sitting on the bed, knees tucked up to my chin, rocking back and forth and crying like a lunatic chanting, "Holy sh**. Holy sh**. Holy sh**...". Then, I remembered that I thought I heard Dan Lloyd come home. I went tearing downstairs and scared the hell out of him (I must've looked nuts...wild eyed and really crazy) because he jumped up and said, "What's wrong?!". To which I answered hysterically, "The computer shut itself down in the middle of my test! Oh noooooooo! Oh, noooooooo. I will never -sob- be able to -sob- rewrite those essays. -sob, sob harder- The answers were really good, too. -sob-". Yeah, I think it's safe to say that should anything really ever happen, someone will have to reenact all those famous old movies scenes, pull back their hand and slap me. Hard.

Luck was on my side, though, because Dan Lloyd got it up and running. All of my answers were still there and I'd only lost ten minutes. TEN MINUTES! At any rate, I was completely rattled for the rest of the test. I'm so mad, I would've had a perfect score except that I second guessed myself on four questions and changed my answers. They were right the first time. What a night. Needless to say, I was completely exhausted by the time I was done and had that funny feeling in my chest you get when you've cried really hard for hours. Brother.

I was thinking about taking the fall semester off because I feel like I'm not being a very good mother. I don't cook dinner anymore, I don't clean house, my kids do ALL of the laundry, and half the time I don't even know where they are. I'm not sure I can be a decent mother and go to school at the same time. The flipside is, I think if I stop now the time may never come again. So, I'm only taking one measly class in the fall. At this rate it's going to take me ten years to get my AA, but my family is so much more important than my selfish drive for education.

BTW, if you ever have an emergency situation and you need someone to chant "Holy sh**" in a very special, super creepy way, I'm your girl...

(I apologize for the bad language in this post. As demonstrated in the above described situation it is clear that I come completely apart in certain situations,and my sailor's mouth unleashes. Hey, my dad WAS in the Navy, so you see? I come by it naturally. Of course, I'd NEVER tell you that I learned half of all the swear words I know from my mom. I would never rat her out like that.)